I had hoped to write you all yesterday, but was glued to the TV unable to look away. What I would have said in the pinnacle of turmoil would not make nearly as much sense as the sifted and collected thoughts that emerge today. While I still feel outraged, there is less swearing, a fact to be glad of.

I’ve been in the places we consider a sacred part of our national heritage and regard myself privileged to have done so. I traveled to Washington D.C. at seventeen for a deep dive into the top-levels of government. I visited the Press Club, embassies, the Pentagon, the Library of Congress, the Capitol building, met with Representatives and Senators, toured the Supreme Court, watched from the gallery as the US House of Representatives debated a bill, walked through Arlington National Cemetery and each of the war memorials, and heard from prominent figures as they described the colossal privilege of serving in the US government. It was an extraordinary episode in my life.

I chaperoned an American history trip with students where I toured the White House, saw the presidential motorcade glide through the streets, wandered contemplatively through both Mount Vernon and Independence Hall. I sat in the pew belonging to George Washington at Bruton Parish Church. In subsequent years I meandered room to room in the ancestral home and estate of John Adams. These locations hold great significance for our national identity.

I have craned my neck to take in the great dome in the rotunda of the Capitol building and walked through Statuary Hall. I am heartsick for the desecration that has taken place. The disrespect shown is an affront to the ideals and the citizenry of America. This is indeed a violation of hallowed ground. Even today, after the vote has been certified by both houses (finally at 3:40 am EST) I am in a funk, agitated and dismayed.

Let me be clear: the perversion of executive power and insouciance on the part of the President’s peers created this moment.

I spent the evening listening to the speeches of US Senators expostulating about something no less than a coup attempt. How is this the Rubicon crossing that those sympathetic to the president were finally willing to stand against? The president and his minions have trespassed a myriad of other lines of civility, tradition, and lawfulness all for ill gotten gain. It is truly unprincipled and ignoble to now rise up in contempt for a monster you helped create. Those who wish to save their political dignity chose to denounce the acts of violence without any air of deference for their shared responsibility. There was no contrition for stoking these flames and some were still emboldened to question the validity of electors from contested states. How brazen to continue to defile the will of the people with lies and unfounded conspiracies.

And, Lord help me, I am viscerally incensed at the magnificent difference in crowd control between BLM protestors peaceably gathering in June and white MAGA rioters staging a coup on the day an election is being certified. The militant federal forces that protected Capitol steps during nonviolent protests decrying police brutality versus the unpreparedness and even enabling of some Capitol Hill Police during an actual coup attempt cannot be downplayed. Please observe and note the contrast. Do not ignore how we treat People of Color who gathered in the name of valid change and how we treat white militants who overrun law enforcement without consequence. This was plain as day and important in facing down the demon of white supremacy. I speak against it in the most potent terms of remonstrance. This deserves our lament and correction.

I am looking forward to some semblance of sanity and civility returning on January 20th. Heaven help us.